Maybe we need to talk about our ‘failures’ more in life, because for some reason we have this notion that the really mega-successful people in life just don’t have them. They have something we don’t, some magic superpower that allows them to live their dreams, get paid for what they love, make a ton of money and be successful entrepreneurs. We tend to compare ourselves and think that we aren’t enough – and when we fail we use that as evidence that we aren’t enough, simply assuming that the people who have ‘made it’ just don’t ever fail.
In reality, the only ‘magic’ gift successful people have is their ability to KEEP GETTING BACK UP AFTER EACH FAILURE. It’s not that you’re not good enough – it’s that your dedication/determination muscle isn’t strong enough yet!
I think part of the reason we run when we fail is that often, we didn’t expect it. We had these great dreams, often we’ve put in a lot of thought and planning and when it doesn’t work out they way we had hoped, it’s disappointing. Embarrassing. Sometimes mortifying. Our confidence has been rattled so much that we retreat backwards at the speed of light so we can stay in the comfort zone of our past.
What if, instead, we expected to ‘fail’? Or better yet, what if we even looked forward to failing?
Now, I know this sounds a little bat-shit crazy. But when you realise that whatever meaning we give to life is what we take from it you can see there’s a bit of logic in there too 🙂
So what if we still aimed for our goals, put in our full 100% to make them fly, but then expected and looked forward to the unexpected that will come up? Instead of losing confidence, freaking out and pulling back we would probably start to think “Huh. Ok, I expected something like this. How can I learn from this to change my plan and get closer to my dream?”
That’s a totally different reaction to “Omigod, I’m not good enough” and it puts you in a radically different state to handle your “where-to-from-here”.
I’ll be the first to say that this is something I MASSIVELY struggle with, but I’m going to do my best to look forward to the unexpected and embrace it as the challenge I need to overcome to take me to the next level.
Check out this post from Marie Forleo (one of my favourite sources for life and business coaching – an incredibly smart lady with a crazy sense of humour!) – it really changed my perspective on successful people and failure!